Ending a relationship is never an easy decision for anyone. It can be one of the most emotional and uncertain decisions of their lives. Along with the personal challenges come questions about finances, children, property, and what life will look like moving forward.

If you are thinking about a separation or divorce, you do not need to have all the answers today. Taking the time to understand your options before making a major decision can help you feel more confident about the road ahead and how to restructure your family.

Here are five things worth considering before you begin the divorce and/or separation process.

1. Learn What Your Rights Are

It is common to hear advice from friends or family who have been through a divorce. More often than not, family and friends can be a strong source of support but may not be in the best position to provide the advice that you need based on your circumstances. No two divorces or separations will end up the same.

Alberta family law has reorganized how family law procedures are to proceed by introducing the Family Focused Protocols in King’s Bench. While many experienced family lawyers were already applying these concepts, it is now required to attempt resolution outside the courtroom first. While going to court should have always been the last option, you are now no longer able to choose the courtroom first unless you have a defined “Urgent” situation. 

Before making decisions about moving out, selling your home, or dividing finances, it’s a good idea to understand your legal rights and responsibilities and the procedures and resources available to you.. Getting reliable information early can help you avoid unnecessary stress and costly mistakes.

2. Think About Your Financial Future

Divorce and separations are not just about ending a relationship, it is also about untangling your financial resources and setting up your future.

Take some time to think about questions like:

  • Can I afford to stay in my home?
  • How will our debts be divided?
  • What happens to our savings or pensions?
  • Will child support and/or spousal support be involved?
  • Are there any tax implications to consider?

Looking beyond the immediate emotions and considering your long-term financial picture can help you make better decisions for the future.

3. Keep the Focus on the Children

If you have children, their well-being should remain the priority throughout the process.This can be very difficult when operating on emotion.

Family law is based on what’s in the best interests of the child, not what either parent wants most. A child-centered approach is based through the eyes of the child as opposed to the individual wishes of a parent.

Children generally do better when parents can communicate respectfully, create consistent routines, and work together to reduce conflict whenever possible. It is nearly impossible to shelter a child from a divorce or separation, but a child should never become involved in the dispute. If a divorce or separation is concerning for an adult, just imagine what a child must be going through. 

Parents will need to set aside their personal differences, establish an understanding of what their children need, and move forward in a manner that creates cooperation and innovation. Restructuring your family without dispute will be essential for your children to endure a very stressful situation for them. 

4. Get Your Financial Information Organized

One of the simplest things you can do before meeting with a lawyer is to gather your financial documents. A lawyer may not review your financial circumstances at a first meeting, but it is important to organize your assets and debts. This will make the production phase of solicitor-client relationship run smoother. 

Financial documents may include:

  • Tax returns and Notices of Assessment
  • Recent pay stubs
  • Bank and investment statements
  • Mortgage information
  • Credit card balances
  • Pension information
  • Financial Statements for companies owed by a party or spouses/partners 
  • Any information about businesses assets or other major assets

Having this information ready makes it easier to understand your financial picture and helps the legal process move more efficiently. Each party will need to voluntarily exchange their full financial disclosure to the other party. Most people wait to do that once they retain legal counsel. Parties who enter mediation prior to retaining legal counsel, will also have to provide this information to help the mediator understand the financial platform of the family. 

5. Remember That Divorce Doesn’t Always Mean Going to Court

Many people picture divorce ending up in a courtroom. In reality, that’s not how most family matters are resolved.

For many couples, mediation offers a more cooperative way to restructure  your family affairs and work through difficult decisions. Instead of asking a judge to make decisions for you, mediation allows both people to have a voice in finding solutions that work for their family.

Mediation often saves time, reduces legal costs, and helps preserve important relationships especially when children are involved.

‘Mediation is for everyone’ especially those who want to resolve their dispute in their family’s best interests. Mediation is one of the only ways to ensure that you maintain control over the process and the resolution. Many people believe that conflict between parents renders mediation futile. The reality is that many people simply have not tried to explain what concerns them, and why. Once an understanding and discussion occurs, most problems are not as difficult as they were once thought. 

You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone

If you’re considering separation or divorce, the first step doesn’t have to be filing paperwork. Sometimes the best place to start is simply having a conversation.

Understanding your rights, your options, and the different ways family matters can be resolved can help you make informed decisions with greater confidence.

Lawren Wowk is an experienced family law attorney and accredited mediator with Grey Wowk Spencer LLP. He works with individuals and families to find practical solutions that minimize conflict whenever possible and help clients move forward with confidence.

If you’re considering separation or divorce, contact Grey Wowk Spencer LLP to schedule a confidential consultation with Lawren and learn whether mediation may be the right path for you.